Farm Beginnings

Today’s a sunny day; one of the final days of March, with a freshly fallen snow dusting that will soon disappear as early spring snows often do. I’m not accomplishing much this morning as Millie has decided I make an excellent nap bed. I'm trying to remind myself these times pass quickly and dishes are here eternal, so here’s the space to write. I’ve caught you up on our animal acquisitions this far (oh yes, I’m sure there will be more, and soon) so let’s talk land. When I say this land was raw- it had never been lived on in many years. It had been pasture and fields for many years when Kellen’s grandparents owned it, but the homestead is on a different parcel. The only structure we discovered was a concrete trough  overgrown with brush near the watering hole. While Kellen had worked the fields on and off, the pasture hadn’t had animals for several years. 

Our first walk on the property together was in more than a foot of snow; the second time was early spring, wading through swaths of tall grasses, brush, and other nature debris. There was quite a bit of water flowing off the hill, some spring melt, but most from springs Kellen knew existed around the property. 

In one particularly soaked location near a towering old oak I could identify wetland plants in a grouping, and after some tracking through different pools of water we determined it to be the site of one of the larger springs on the property.  Sure enough, after a little digging, we found the spot where water was seeping up from the ground. 

Our first project before moving to the property was to dig a reservoir to use this spring as a water source. Kellen and I took turns digging a small trench to consolidate the flow into a small pond and direct overflow towards the farm ditch in the lower field. There were also several locations along the path that would eventually be our driveway where water flowed off the hillside. The nature of the flows led us to believe they also came from springs, which could prove useful in the future. At present, however, these water flows were an issue. With no ditches along the path to catch the water, the path became impassable once mud season arrived. 2021 was a particularly wet growing season, and I dare say mud season lasted the whole year. We were still deciding on a farm name and the wetness might have fueled a few I came up with: MF Farm (Mud Flats Farm), Always Flowing Farm, Slip N Slide Farm, Moister than Yours Farm, Up to Your Knees Farm, WWF (We’re Wet Farms), EverSpring Farm, Hope Springs Farm... you get the idea.

In early August, we managed to drag the camper out away from the road and between the oaks, giving us privacy and access to the spring reservior. Kellen began assessing how to turn the path into a proper driveway. Just two days later our area suffered a devastating amount of rain, flooding our and nearby villages. Miraculously, we suffered little damage, although our recently installed culvert by the road was nearly washed out.

Kellen's cousin Chad helped us begin the daunting drainage project of installing tile and also helped dig a more proper reservior for our spring water. The driveway is over 600 feet from the road to the camper, but this work got us able to move Kellen's semi trucks and other equipment in from the edge of the road. I believe altogether we now have five drainage tiles under the driveway. The next step was to purchase a backhoe that Kellen and his machinist friend breathed just enough life into to dig several deep trenches spanning the width of the path to place drainage tile. And then she broke down, leaving the driveway impassable by vehicle. We had to use the edge of the lower farm field to get out to the camper for almost a year- Kellen fixes all his own equipment, and the ones he can't, he brings to his Amish machinist friend David, and they tackle the issue together. However the backhoe repair turned out to be a doozy, financially and mechanically, so we needed to make do for that year. In between all of this, Kellen was working on a few neighboring farms, trucking, and fixing equipment to get us in a place to farm our own land. We managed to harvest hay from our fields, the first cut baled on my birthday- now there's a farm memory I'll treasure forever.

The Graceful Willow and the Perfect Tomato

I just got home from a sleepover at my best friend’s house. Yes, we’re in our 40’s and sleepovers are still a thing. Actually, she opens her home to me when I visit because we now live over two hours apart. Fifteen years of a friendship that has only grown stronger and more meaningful with each passing year. We’re really not alike, in fact I remember someone insightful once calling us complimentary opposites. The Graceful Willow and the Perfect Tomato. Yes- I’m the tomato of the pair. 

I wasn’t intending to write about our friendship when I began writing today, but I think such a friendship warrants taking over this post. I’ll have to change the name from the original subject that was weighing on me, “Irreconcilable Differences” to whatever is up there now. That is truly the furthest description of our connection- in fact, I can’t think of one time in fifteen years that we have fought. Even a misunderstanding is very rare. 

She’s not a person who enjoys the spotlight (although I drag her in it from time to time) even though she, in my opinion, is a class act that can command attention even as she shuns it. That’s honestly how we met- in a Horticulture 101 class in 2007; she was a quiet magnet that sat against the wall half way back in the classroom. Everyone noticed her, whether she cared to know it or not. As for myself, I heard a little voice in my head say, “I think this girl would make an interesting friend.”

I can’t remember exactly how I began the conversation, I believe I sent her an email to get together about the class, but as they say, the rest is history.

She’s been a steady rock in my cliffhanging lifestyle- a thoughtful voice of counsel during life predicaments. During one particularly colorful period of my life, she and I took on the nicknames Coach and Slugger, respectively. 

I want to go back to how we were described as complimentary opposites. We have a few core similarities: we both love horticulture, we’re both big foodies (most of my friends are- if you don’t like to eat, I don’t get you) but insofar as lifestyles we are very different. She steadily progressed in the professional world, moving with thoughtful consideration, purchased a house in the suburbs of Buffalo, got married and has a strong extended family life. 

Me on the other hand, I’ve never owned a home, only recently have I settled into co-owning farmland over two hours from Buffalo where my partner and I are (eventually) building a house. I’ve jumped career tracks multiple times, as followers of this blog well know. So what ties us so tightly together? It’s easy- mutual respect for each other’s pursuit of life fulfillment, and recognizing it based on how well we know each other, not on what we ourselves would enjoy. This might sound simple, but I think it’s vital to a long term friendship. As I stop and think, it’s important in all relationships to some degree. How often do we hear “I just don’t understand how they enjoy that” with a touch of judgement on someone else’s lifestyle? Or how a parent becomes so bewildered when a child they think they know so well veers in a direction they didn’t foresee. 

In my opinion, being similar to someone is not the best indicator for a relationship. Instead, holding a certain fascination with another person and wanting to know them for their genuine self leads to a much deeper connection. This way, you’re less likely to try to steer their life, or be frustrated when they take a turn that you wouldn’t. Instead, you both live life alongside each other, even if your lives aren’t parallel. 

You don’t grow apart if one or both of you chooses to move far away or leave a job in an industry in which you both shared a love. Growing is the essence of your friendship, and truly wishing their best above all else. 

The rich connection and love is worth making efforts of time and distance, and understanding life ebbs and flows. 

This is truly the essence of my best friend relationship with her- she’s been more than happy to be along for the crazy ride I have chosen to as my life rhythm, and I am so grateful for her steady presence and the shelter of her love.